dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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