so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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