apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Bring me that man meat
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
