dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
