This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
