We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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