i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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