girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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