My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
