So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
