No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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