this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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