rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
