What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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