uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
