seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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