ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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