3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
