I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
