You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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