hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
