My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
