Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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