in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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