she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
