stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
