her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
