operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
