this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
