To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
