like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
