South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
