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• (314): View more from Missouri

  My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass

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