no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
