i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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