how can u be prego again
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
