So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
