i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You are the jesus of drinking
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
