Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
