Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
