Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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