I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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