Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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