walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
