Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
