thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
