i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
