just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
