Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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