Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
